they called me the door to eden (fey_seraph) wrote in terriblegirl,
they called me the door to eden
fey_seraph
terriblegirl

He's (T.) always drunk and often rude & I don't give a damn, his personality is not particularly important to me at this moment in time.
he's very warm.
and yes, he may not know exactly who or what i am but right now does it really matter? I trick myself into believing that it doesn't. I kiss his neck, he kisses my mouth. I'm happy.
T. mentions that my boyfriend is gay, then pauses and reasserts: No, he couldn't be gay...
"Why not?"
"Cos yer.. because you're a girl.... Huh, that's weird."
"How are you so sure that I'm a girl?"
He scrutinizes me, smiling slightly, my flat chest, shaved head, baggy men's clothing, hairy legs, and then says, "Well, I'd hope so," laughing, so god-damn sure.
"You never know." I reply.
He laughs it off. He's drunk. He'll forget in a minute again, when I bite his neck and he loses his balance ever so slightly.
Later at a party my boyfriend and I are fighting a losing battle to explain to several people, he among them, that I am not a girlfriend, that I am not a woman..... No one is understanding, no one is even trying, I'm losing faith in the oh so accepting punk scene, the conversation lulls and he (T.) speaks up, drunkenly asserting himself, redunantly:
"You're a woman."
"You have no fucking idea who I am."
"Then where's your dick?"
"It's in my fucking car."
"Exactly!"
I tell him to go fuck himself....
I leave, my boyfriend follows shortly after. he is very angry also...
I'm not personally hurt but rather sad for the state of things, and the loss of warmth however meaningless it may have been... my boyfriend and i walk home in the dark and no one yells at us for being two boys, holding hands.

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